I once attended a networking event in Vienna where a man handed me his business card, shook my hand, glanced over my shoulder at someone more interesting, and moved on — all within eleven seconds. I counted. His card went into my jacket pocket, then into the recycling bin at the hotel.
Three days later, a woman I’d met at the same event sent me a one-line email: “I noticed you mentioned supply chain problems in Austria — I know someone who might help. Want an introduction?” No pitch. No ask. No mention of what she did or what she was selling. Just a useful connection offered without expectation.
I still work with the person she introduced me to. I have no idea what the business card man’s name was.
That’s networking. Not the card-collecting, LinkedIn-connecting, event-hopping performance that passes for it. But the simple, undervalued act of being useful to people without keeping score.
Why Most Networking Advice Is Backwards
The standard networking playbook goes like this: attend events, meet people, exchange contact information, follow up, build relationships, extract value. The entire framework is built around what you can get.
This approach produces a specific kind of network: wide, shallow, and transactional. You know a lot of people’s names. You have a lot of LinkedIn connections. You’ve attended a lot of events. And when you actually need something — a referral, an introduction, advice, a partnership — almost none of those connections will help you, because none of them feel any obligation or genuine desire to.
The founders I’ve worked with who built strong networks did the opposite. They started by giving. Not strategically. Not with a calculated expectation of return. They gave because they noticed opportunities to be useful and acted on them.
At Startup Burgenland, the founders who built the most valuable networks weren’t the most extroverted or the most polished. They were the ones who, when another founder mentioned a problem, said “I know someone who could help with that” and made the introduction. Over months, these small acts of usefulness accumulated into a reputation that produced exponentially more value than any business card ever could.
The Three Types of Network Value
Not all network connections serve the same purpose. Understanding the three types helps you build deliberately rather than randomly.
Type one: Information networks. People who know things you don’t. Industry experts, market analysts, experienced founders, domain specialists. Their value is knowledge. You maintain these relationships by being curious, asking smart questions, and sharing relevant information back. The cost of maintenance is low — an occasional email, a shared article, a brief conversation at events.
Type two: Opportunity networks. People who open doors. Investors, partners, clients, media contacts, conference organizers. Their value is access. You maintain these relationships by being worth introducing — by having something real to show for your work, by being reliable, by following through when they do connect you with someone. The cost of maintenance is moderate — you need to be visible, competent, and easy to recommend.
Type three: Support networks. People who sustain you. Your accountability partner, your closest founder peers, your mentor, the friend who asks “how are you really doing?” Their value is emotional. You maintain these relationships by being honest, being present, and reciprocating the support. The cost of maintenance is high — these relationships require genuine investment — but the return is disproportionate because they’re what keeps you going during the periods when nothing is working.
Most founders over-invest in opportunity networks and under-invest in information and support networks. They collect connections that might lead to deals while neglecting the relationships that lead to knowledge and resilience.
The Usefulness-First Approach
Here’s my networking system. It has one principle: be useful first, always.
When I meet someone new, I listen for a problem I can help with. Not a problem I can sell into — a problem I can genuinely help with, even if it produces zero business benefit for me. Can I introduce them to someone? Can I recommend a resource? Can I share a framework from my experience that applies to their situation?
When I follow up, I lead with the useful thing, not the ask. “Here’s the article I mentioned” or “I connected you with Sarah — she’s expecting your email” or “I thought about your supply chain question and here’s what worked for us.” The follow-up is a gift, not a pitch.
When I need something, I ask directly and specifically, but only from people I’ve already been useful to. “I’m looking for an introduction to someone in Amazon FBA logistics — do you know anyone?” The directness respects their time. The specificity makes it easy to help. And the accumulated goodwill from past usefulness makes them want to.
This approach is slower than transactional networking. It produces fewer connections in the short term. But the connections it produces are qualitatively different — they’re people who actually pick up the phone when you call.
Building a Network When You Have Nothing to Offer
The biggest objection I hear from early-stage founders: “I have nothing to offer yet. Why would anyone want to connect with me?”
This is wrong, and recognizing why it’s wrong is the key to networking as a new founder.
You have attention. In a world where everyone is broadcasting and nobody is listening, genuine attention is valuable. When you sit across from an experienced founder and ask thoughtful questions about their work, listen carefully to the answers, and follow up with intelligence — that’s offering something. Most people are surrounded by others who want to talk. The person who wants to listen is rare and appreciated.
You have perspective. You see the industry with fresh eyes. The questions you ask — the ones that might feel naive to you — often highlight assumptions that experienced people have stopped questioning. I’ve had more useful insights from conversations with brand-new founders than from most conferences, because their lack of industry conditioning lets them see things the rest of us have learned to overlook.
You have energy. Early-stage founders have a specific kind of enthusiasm that experienced founders have often lost. That energy is genuinely useful — it reminds people why they started, and it’s contagious in a way that nothing else is.
You have future potential. Experienced networkers know that the unknown founder they help today might be a valuable connection in five years. Smart people build relationships based on trajectory, not current position. The cost of helping you now is low. The potential return is high. This isn’t cynical — it’s how long-term relationships work.
The Practical Infrastructure
Relationships, like businesses, need systems to function at scale. Here’s mine:
A simple CRM. Not a software platform — a spreadsheet. Name, how we met, what they do, what I’ve helped them with, what they’ve helped me with, last contact date, next action. I review it monthly and reach out to anyone I haven’t contacted in 90 days. The outreach is always useful — sharing an article, making an introduction, checking in on a project they mentioned.
A “connector” habit. Every week, I try to make one introduction between two people in my network who should know each other. Not all introductions stick. But the practice keeps me thinking about my network as a web rather than a list, and the introductions that do stick generate goodwill in both directions.
Event selection. I attend four to six events per year, chosen carefully. The criteria: will the other attendees be people I want to know for the next five years? If yes, I go. If it’s just a networking event with no filter, I skip it. Quality of connections matters infinitely more than quantity. One dinner with five founders I respect produces more lasting relationships than a conference with 500 strangers.
The annual audit. Once a year, I review my entire network and ask: who are the twenty people I should be deepest in relationship with? Not the most powerful. Not the most connected. The most aligned, most reciprocal, most genuinely valuable — in both directions. Those twenty get the most attention, the most introductions, the most genuine investment of my time.
The Long Game
The best networking advice I ever received came from a mentor in San Francisco. He said: “Build your network before you need it. Because by the time you need it, it’s too late.”
He was right. The time to be useful to people is not when you need a favor. It’s years before. The introductions, the shared resources, the thoughtful emails — they’re deposits in a relationship bank that you may not draw from for years. But when you do need to draw, the balance is there.
This is the 5-year perspective applied to relationships. The person you help today might be the person who introduces you to your biggest client in three years. The founder you listen to in a coffee shop might be the one who recommends you for a speaking engagement that changes your career. The email you send with no expectation of return might be the one that someone remembers when an opportunity crosses their desk with your name on it.
Your network isn’t your net worth. That phrase has been ruined by people who treat relationships as transactions. But the underlying truth is real: the quality of the relationships you build determines the quality of the opportunities you encounter. Not because you’re extracting value from people. Because you’ve spent years being genuinely useful, and useful people attract useful opportunities.
Be the person who makes the introduction. Send the email. Share the resource. Ask the question. Listen to the answer.
Do it without keeping score. The score keeps itself.
